How To Be Yourself
It’s very hard to connect with people virtually because there are no emotions in words. It’s even harder to sell information and to get people invested in what you have to say especially when they don’t know a scooby about you. If you’re starting from scratch and need to build up a following the easiest way to make those connections is to be yourself.
I hate when people tell me to be myself.
What the hell do they mean when you feel like you are being yourself?
So many of us act the way we think our customers expect to us to act or how we think we should act based on what we would expect to see. A great example is the TV show Keeping Up Appearances where Mrs Bucket which she pronounces Bouquet pretended to be something that she’s not. It becomes apparent that she is faking everything when you see her family and where she grew up. She actually alienates herself from everyone with her false pretence and delusions. When her family pop up unexpectedly she gets flustered and stressed trying to keep up her appearances.
The keyword is ACT!
When you are acting, your audience can sense the disconnection, they feel that you are not real, not genuine and they won’t believe you or buy from you.
Staying with the show Keeping Up Appearances everyone loved Richard her husband who didn’t pretend to be anybody else, he was more relatable and listens. There is a valuable lesson here for bloggers.
The key to being yourself is embracing who you really are, the private you that is comfortable, the person you are when you need to wind down, says what’s on their mind, angry, crazy, happy, sad, etc. You need to feel at ease and you will make your audience feel at ease.
If you are shy embrace your shyness, tell people you are shy explain why you’ve hidden your face, or why you struggle to do videos, why you don’t like to be in public. If you are overconfident, happy loud, don’t tame it down explain why you are confident, explain why you are loud maybe your parents didn’t talk to each other but lovingly shouted at one another and so all you have ever known is to talk loud. If you have an obsession with death, love to look like a million dollars, have low self-esteem explain why.
You need to tell your story, its real and it’s true to you, and your audience will be able to relate to you for who you are. A percentage of people that will invest in your product or service are the ones with similar stories. Trying to please everyone is a recipe for disaster. There are 7 Billion people in the world if only 0.01% relate to your personality that’s 7 million potential customers reading your blog.
If you are softly spoken, there is a group of softly spoken people out there waiting to relate to you, if you are someone sad, someone happy, someone charming, excitable, placid, eager, nerdy, etc. Whoever you are, just write and speak from that comfortable place of who you really are.
We change and grow daily you may start off being excitable, and through experiences, you may calm down. But there will be a reason why, which you will be able to tell the story with a passion because it’s real and true, guaranteed your audience will grow and change with you but also appreciate your openness.
I am a naturally smiley person 80% of the time, I love to smile at strangers, one because sometimes it freaks them out and I find that hilarious and two because a smile is warming and inviting. I’ve noticed that my genuine smile allows people to open up to me and sets the tone for our interactions. I love to talk but I know that my wacky geeky personality isn’t for everyone and rubs some people up the wrong way. I accept the fact and connect with people where there is a mutual connection.
Ultimately, you want to build up a level of trust to become an influencer, and the aim is to encourage your audience to buy what you are selling or what you recommend.
In the last article, we looked at your influencers. Take a few mins to look at their personality, their style of writing, their style, the way that they talk and explain themselves, the way that they dress and present themselves. Look at all the people that you like to listen to or relate to within your industry and write down why you read their blogs, watch their videos, buy their recommendations. Your answer will explain a lot about yourself because there is something in them that you relate to you.
There are some bloggers whose have been recommended to me as being brilliant but I have found that their voices irritate me, they are too vague, too secretive, too profit orientated, etc. Whereas I will not spend a penny with them they are making millions because like the saying goes..
“Beauty is within the beholder”
or as my gran used to say in a Jamaican accent…
“one man’s rubbish is a next man’s treasure”
There is someone out there for everyone, whether they are friends, partners, influencers, etc. connect with those you relate too.
The two things that I want you to take away from this article is that you can’t please everyone and to always be your true self.
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